When I was a kid, the pile of presents I got on my birthday was the best thing in the world. But it was also the worst, because it came with a catch: thank-you notes.

Thank-you notes took forever to write, and I hated that my parents made me do it.

“But we know you appreciate all the gifts you get,” they’d say. “Isn’t it nice to tell that to the people who gave them to you?”

No. That was my take. From where I stood, it seemed like a totally empty gesture. It was like saying “How are you?” when you ran into someone in the street. Didn’t everyone know you only asked to be polite? No one ever heard, “How are you?” and thought you were really interested in the answer. 

I was sure that none of my relatives ever actually felt appreciated when they got my thank-you notes.

These days, I see a lot of thank-you messages sent out from nonprofits to their donors. Big donors might get a personal call, meeting, or gift, but most get an email or postcard with a few standard lines, the same rote courtesy we’ve all said and heard a million times before.

And just like when I was a kid, I find myself thinking: Is anyone really getting anything out of this?

Of course you’re grateful

Here’s the thing: I did appreciate my birthday presents. I was grateful and happy. My birthday was better because of the thoughtfulness of my family and friends, and I didn’t have a problem telling them that.

My problem was how to sound sincere doing it.

Donors are the lifeblood of any nonprofit organization. Their support is what makes the work possible. That’s why you reach out to say thank-you in the first place – because like we’ve all had drilled into us since childhood, when you appreciate someone, it’s nice to let them know.

But I get the feeling that like my younger self, a lot of organizations struggle to convey their gratitude in a way that feels real. Politeness is a kind of routine we’ve been trained in since we were kids, and we fall into its typical patterns automatically. Even when we realize that the words are starting to sound meaningless, we keep doing it, because… well, because it’s just what you do. It’s expected. It would be rude not to.

The good news is, we’re not kids anymore. No one is making us follow a stale script. If we want to find a better way to say thank-you, we can – and it’s my belief that we really, really should.

Thank-you messages are a powerful tool, and right now, they’re one that’s going to waste.

The power of a thank-you

It’s hard for donors to feel super connected to the daily work of your organization.

At some point, they must have gotten on board with the overall mission, but how aware are they of the reality on the ground?

Even if they know the bare facts, do they get how meaningful and hard-won your latest success was? Do they feel the personal impact, knowing the stories of the people whose lives you’ve changed?

These are things that donors themselves made happen. But they happened at a distance, somewhere far from where the checks were signed.

When you say thank you, there’s a good chance your donors don’t even know what you’re really thanking them for.

In other words, boring and dry thank-you messages aren’t just an aesthetic problem. If you can’t deliver a thank-you with some life and vitality to it, that reflects a risk to the health and longevity of your donor relationships.

Donors are your partners, but unlike you, they don’t get to keep living the reality of the work you do. They can more easily start to feel less involved, drift away from it, or lose perspective on what should be prioritized and why.

When donors feel less connected, it makes everything about your relationship harder. It means that you’re probably struggling more than you should to communicate your point of view and get them to understand and support your current needs as an organization.

But a thank-you is actually a perfect opportunity to change that.

Doing things differently

A thank-you is a celebration of the people who helped make your accomplishments a reality. It only makes sense to take this time to paint a picture of what, exactly, you’ve all achieved together.

If you can bring your donors into your world, allowing them to experience it the way you do, you can remind them and reinforce for them just why their contribution is so valuable. Not only will they feel seen and appreciated, but they’ll be able to see you more clearly as well, strengthening their commitment to your future success. They may even be inspired to increase their level of giving. 

This approach can transform even your already personal interactions with big donors, changing the dynamic from universal gratitude to a sense of collaboration and solidarity.  

There are a couple of options you can explore to create this experience. For big donors, if you feel that a gift is appropriate, try to make sure that it’s something that is connected to the cause, a reminder of why they gave in the first place. 

Another idea is to invite donors to tour your facilities. This approach is as personal as it gets, but it has some drawbacks. While I may be biased, I actually think there’s a good case for using video as your primary solution instead:

• Just one video can reach an unlimited number of people, including both big and small donors. Watching a video is also an easy, pleasant, low-key activity that donors can do at their own convenience.

• At the same time, video can be personalized. You can include a message to a specific donor at the start, or even write a script with a specific donor in mind. If you want, you can take a broadly applicable video and customize it by attaching personalized messages to every single donor on your list.

• A video is a completely controlled experience. You can make sure that you include the right details, in the right order, with the right framing, to have exactly the right emotional impact.

What’s your experience with thank-you messages? Are they a meaningful part of your donor relationships, or do they largely feel like a waste of time? What do you think of using video to turn routine thank-you messages into a powerful experience?

If you’re looking for help producing thank-you videos for your donors, you’re welcome to be in touch here.